


I Could Just Taste It

by Synnerxx



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-03
Packaged: 2018-10-30 19:10:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: Spinner contemplates Jay and finds that he is wrong about him.





	I Could Just Taste It

“I was wrong about you.” Spinner whispered as they lay in bed together. Jay's asleep and doesn't hear the words. Spinner rolls over to study the sleeping form of his friend. He had thought he loved him, really he did, but no.

There was nothing in his heart for Jay except friendship and lust. He had thought, that maybe, just maybe, Jay could be the one to save him, but he was so wrong. The thought should have hurt, should make him feel something. There was nothing except a vague disappointment. Disappointment that Jay wasn't what he thought he was.

Though he had to admit to himself that he was been a bit ridiculous to think that Jay, of all people, beautiful fucked up Jay, could save him. Jay couldn't even save himself, much less Spinner.

It seemed that their place was among the ashes of their ruined relationship and Spinner just had to accept that he had been wrong and that they couldn't save each other.

He would say none of this to Jay of course. There was no need too. Neither had ever called what they had a real relationship and neither pretended to be in love with the other. That would just be insulting.

Time ticked slowly by as Spinner stared sleeplessly at the clock on his bedside table. The neon green numbers flickered and changed into each other as he stared, contemplating the state of everything in his life.

He wished that he had been right. Wished that Jay was the one that could save him, but he wasn't and the thought still only brought a sense of disappointment.

He could feel Jay falling away. No longer the lost, no longer the same. He could see Jay starting to break. He would keep Jay alive if he just showed him the way. Forever and ever the stars will remain.

But all of that was just a fantasy. He could no more keep Jay alive than he could change the color of the sky. He was helpless to keep Jay from breaking, same as he was to keep himself from falling apart.

There was no sign. No nothing and the sad truth was it didn't even hurt. Was Jay really that meaningless to him? No, he just wasn't what Spinner was looking for. It wasn't Jay's fault. Not everyone could be everything to someone. Some people were just there to fill in the gaps for others.

So Spinner had been wrong about Jay being the one that could save him. Didn't mean that they couldn't still be friends. Or have the occasional one night stands. Sex really didn't affect their friendship, it was more like an added bonus for when they really needed to get some stress relief when they were both single.

Spinner only hoped that Jay knew that they could never be more than friends with benefits. He probably did and would probably balk at being anything else anyway.

The clock read 4:03 in neon green numbers. Spinner closed his eyes and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

No one ever said relationships of any variety were easy.


End file.
